June
19, 2019
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Applying the Models
for Mass-Disaster
Family Assistance to
All Tragedies,
Regardless of
Numbers or Cause,
Could Result in
Saving Lives
– Carolyn V.
Coarsey, Ph.D.
Suicide
prevention is
not so much the
stopping of
self-inflicted
death as it is
the restoration
of hope in the
hopeless before
the fatal
planning
begins.
-Paul
Quinnett, Ph.D.,
and Founder and
CEO, QPR Institute
About
the Foundation’s use of
the QPR Gatekeeper’s Model
In
updating the Family
Assistance
Foundation’s case
study research, I have
recently re-interviewed
several parents whose
children died in
workplace disasters
where many lives were
lost.
Learning
to live with depression
for several years became
a way of life for all of
them, as is true for
most parents whose
children are killed in a
traumatic event.
Longitudinal research
shows a direct link
between losing a child
in a traumatic event and
traumatic grief
reactions[1]. Yet,
without exception, our
interviews showed that
when the company
delivered a
compassionate, proactive
approach for supporting
the family members left
behind, the parents were
more hopeful about their
futures.
In
our corporate members’
QPR Gatekeeper classes,
we encourage employee
responders to adopt the
same models used by the
corporation’s care
and special assistance
teams which were
initially developed for
mass casualty response
for helping all
individuals when death
occurs in a family. The
following story is an
example of where
adaptation of the
multi-casualty response
model used by most
airlines today was
warranted, despite the
size of the airplane or
number of people
involved.
Mary’s Story, QPR
Quick Quotes, January
16, 2019
Earlier
this year, I wrote about
a woman who planned to
end her life, after her
husband and son died in
the crash of a private
airplane flown by a
close family friend who
also died in the
accident. The
pilot’s son was also
killed in the
crash. In this
woman’s story, there was
no organization to offer
financial assistance and
other practical
resources, and in her
own family of origin and
social group, no one
understood her need to
create her own new life
following the losses.
Everyone in her personal
circle wanted her to
live the life she knew
before, despite the loss
of her husband, her son,
and income. She faced
her future alone. There
were no group support
meetings as is now the
norm for family
survivors in other
workplace disasters.
The
sense of isolation
coupled with lack of
financial resources, had
pushed this woman to the
brink of suicide. It was
only when her deceased
son came to her in a
dream, telling her that
she needed to remain on
earth and raise his
siblings, was she able
to gather the strength
to create a new life for
herself.
Depression associated
with the loss of her son
and husband, left
unchecked would have
been another example of
a suicide which resulted
from undiagnosed
depression.
The
tragic loss of this
mother had she died by
her own hand would have
increased the death
count of the fatal crash
from four to five.
Because research shows
that children who lose a
parent to suicide are
more likely to die the
same way, there is no
way to know how many
more fatalities the
crash might have
yielded[2]. Her suicide
would have left her
other two children more
likely to die the same way.
When
my brother died
in a freak
accident with a
horse, no one
called to offer
us
transportation,
lodging, so we
could go to his
funeral and
support his wife
and children.
When my son was
killed in an
airline crash,
all of our
family were
flown to the
funeral and
provided
lodging, ground
transportation,
and other
financial
support.
What the
airline did was
an enormous gift
to us. At the
memorial, we
were able to
connect with
other families
for long term support.
-Merrilee,
mother of Chad
who died in US
Air Flight 427,
September 8,1994
The
Foundation’s Human
Services Response™
(HSR
™),
models based on our
research of survivors of
mass casualty events in
the workplace, provides
the basis for how we
train an organization’s
employees to support
survivors. The above
quote from Merrilee
whose son died in US Air
Flight 427, in 1994
where a total of 132
perished, points toward
the kind of practical
offerings that make a
difference to families
like her own[3]. Unlike
the example of the
mother who received no
support, Merrilee’s
gratitude toward the
company offset any
tendency to feel anger
or bitterness toward the
company whose airplane
her son died on that
fateful day in
September. HSR™ is
easily adaptable to
support one family, as
it is based on working
with one family at a
time, regardless of the
overall fatality count.
Donna’s story
provides another example
of where this approach
was successful in giving
family members hope.
United
was good to us.
They let us bring
as many people as
we wanted to the
funeral, and they
paid for them to
stay in a hotel.
-Donna,
mother of Anita who
died in United
Airlines Flight 585,
March 1991
Donna’s
daughter, Anita who
was a flight
attendant, died in the
crash of United
Airlines Flight 585 in
Colorado Springs, CO
where all 25 people on
board died. Donna and
her husband tried for
11 years to conceive.
When Anita was born,
she was worth the
wait, as she was so
perfect. Anita was
beautiful, bright, and
her parents’ pride
and joy. At twenty-one
years of age, Anita
had been flying for
less than a year when
she died in the crash.
Due
to impact forces,
Anita’s remains, like
all of those on board
were not
viewable—making the
Catholic funeral
services less than
traditional.
When I met Donna,
nearly nine years had
passed since the
crash, and the mystery
of what caused the
fatal accident had
finally been resolved.
The crash was
attributed to a faulty
rudder design, which
meant that with
re-design, no other
aircraft would have
the same flawed
system—and lives would
now be saved because
of what was learned
from this crash and
the one where
Merrilee’s son
died. Both
accidents resulted
from a rudder design problem.
Once
it was clear that
lives could be saved
in the future as a
result of the
investigation, Donna
could now find meaning
in the tragedy and was
able to move forward.
The research cited
earlier about the
relationship between
traumatic death of a
child and long-term
adjustment issues,
shows that finding
meaning in a death
helps parents in their
recovery. The
lack of answers in the
meantime though,
contributed to the
overwhelming grief
that she felt in those
first years, post-crash.
While
Donna was never
suicidal, depression
was her constant
companion.
Particularly during
holidays and
Christmas time. It
seemed that other
people’s joy with
their children, as
is often the case,
seemed to exacerbate
her own lack of
holiday spirit. Yet,
when Donna was able
to reflect on what
helped her
initially, there
were many
heartwarming
examples of how the
airline used their
resources to help
her and their family
in the initial phase
of the crisis when
they could not help themselves.
In
addition to bringing
the family members
together, as many as
they wanted, and
covering all
expenses associated
with their travel
and stay for the
funeral, the company
also purchased roses
so that all 450
people who attended
the funeral,
including sixty
flight attendants,
all dressed in
uniform, could place
a long-stem red rose
on Anita’s casket.
The airline also
bought champagne for
the reception, at
Donna’s request.
United Airlines also
flew the flight
attendants’
families to the
memorial at
LaGuardia and
invited them to the
annual meeting in
Hawaii that Summer.
Several survivors,
including Donna were
the last to leave
the reception that
first night.
Supporting
Traumatized Employees
Organizations
that we work with
wisely engage
counselors from
their employee
assistance program
to help their
employees who are
directly or
indirectly exposed
to the trauma of the
magnitude of the
disaster in their
workplace. However,
there are other ways
that employees who
may fall prey to
long-term effects of
the crash can be
helped. In the case
where Anita was
killed, actions
toward her
fellow-flight
attendants were
precious in
assisting them to
return to work but
also re-engage with
others, a known
variable in helping
the fight against depression.
When
one of Anita’s
flight attendant
friends was ready to
return to work, she
was given the same
schedule that Anita
had flown.
When she brought
this to leadership’s
attention explaining
why the schedule was
upsetting for her,
she was given a
different fight
series. This
and other examples
of empathic
responses to the
lingering emotions
of co-workers and
family members
helped restore a
sense of emotional
safety. Recognition
of the importance of
after-actions toward
all who were
traumatized by the
crash contributed to
the healing of the
entire airline
family as well as
individual family
members, like Donna,
who learned of it later.
Since many
suicidal people do
not seek help, the
prevention of
their deaths is
difficult. But
since not seeking
help is a known
symptom of
suicidality, the
task of prevention
lies more with
those persons in
the sufferer’s
existing social
network than in
the person
contemplating suicide.
-Paul Quinnett, Ph.D.
While
no one feels lucky
to lose a loved one
in these or any
circumstances, many
family members have
shared with me in
great detail how
much the services
and support provided
to them meant.
Having an
organization offer
assistance during
the time they were
in the helpless,
dependency phase of
trauma was
priceless. The
Foundation’s
training of the QPR
Gatekeeper models
underscores the need
to respond to all
survivors of
traumatic loss, be
it one or multiple
individuals with the
same proactive,
practical and
compassionate
response. We
invite employees and
families of all
organizations to our
classes. We do not
limit our training
and use of case
study research to
only our members;
they are open to anyone.
Mary’s
story is a perfect
example of how
easily a parent, or
anyone for that
matter, can slip
away unnoticed and
become another
statistic supporting
the current research
which states that
suicide rates are
increasing due to
undiagnosed
depression. Merrilee
and Donna’s
stories remind us
that regardless of
the number of lives
lost, be it one or
many, those that are
willing can learn
what to notice, what
to do—and save a life.
[1]
Rogers, C.H,
Floyd, F.J.,
Seltzer, M.M.,
Greenberg, J., and
Hong, J. Long-Term
Effects of the
death of a Child
on Parents’
Adjustment in
Midlife. Journal
of Family
Psychology (April
2010). [2]
Children who lose
a parent to
suicide more
likely to die the
same way. Johns
Hopkins Medical
Institutions (2010)
[3]
Coarsey, C. V.
Handbook for
Human
ServicesResponse (2004)
